A few weeks ago I had the absolute honor and privilege of speaking at the Making Things Happen Conference in Chapel Hill NC. This conference, and the women behind it are so much a part of where I am today and why I am doing what I am doing. I first went to their MTH retreat in the fall of 2010 and shortly after had the strength to launch my first ever Pursuit 31 workshop. Since then, Pursuit has morphed into an international community and conference for Christian Women Creatives, and my life has been completely changed. This week, with 100+ amazing souls in North Carolina, it was changed again. In the best ways possible.
If you’ve never been to Making Things Happen before, first off, GO SIGN UP! They just released their dates for the fall and I know it’s going to be INCREDIBLE. Second, it’s WAY different than any other conference or workshop that’s out there. MTH is 2 days of digging deep, finding what makes you tick, and getting an action plan to get more of that in your life. Every time it’s been life-changing and I think it’s a must for anyone out there. I was actually sitting there wishing even Isaac was there. So if you’re a dude… you should sign up too. If you’re married. Sign up together. It will blow. your. mind!
There is no way that I could recap everything that happened. It’s so personal and experiential that it’s not really something I can put into words. So if you’re looking for that… I apologize. You’re just gonna have to get your buns to Chapel Hill in October to find out for yourself, and then you’ll know why I can’t come up with proper verbiage for that 48 hours. What I can do though is share with you MY action steps. My Aha moments and what I will be changing from here on out. So here I go…
1. I have to make my family the priority.
For the past 3 years I have made Pursuit 31 a HUGE priority. I absolutely LOVE Pursuit and the girls in it. They are more like family than random people on the internet. BUT managing the conference, the 70+ small groups and the online forums has taken over my life. Sometimes it’s easy to say.. well… it’s for the Kingdom.. it’s ministry.. so it’s a worthy cause. I’ve said it so many times. And it IS. It IS a worthy cause. It’s usually not the bad things that creep in and take over our life. It’s usually the good things. Because they are the hardest to say no to. Loving people and hopefully drawing them closer to Jesus is always worth it. But my family is worth it too. My family needs me too. And dare I say they need me more than the 5,000 women on the inter webs do? I think so. And honestly, I need me. I’ve lost a lot of “Me” in the past 3 years and I’m now in a season that I am going to take Me back. And take back my family. This will take a lot of little intentional decisions, but I am excited for the hard work and difficult choices because I know freedom, purpose and balance are on the other side!
2. We HAVE to get out of debt!
One of my favorite parts of the two days was when Nancy Ray’s husband Will shared on finances. I know, I know… crazy boring right?!?! Usually YES! But Will was so funny and broke it down into such simple and easy terms for us “creatives” to understand. I had several light bulb moments. But the biggest one was when he shared a quote from Mark Cuban ” The greatest obstacle to destiny is debt, both personal and financial. Financial debt is the ultimate dream killer.” It’s SOOO true. I have this big dream of moving to a new place or going on a cross country road trip with my family. And what has been standing in our way? DEBT!!!! A few years ago we were debt free. It was always, always our plan to be debt free. But then, 2007 happened, and the house we built for an investment lost 200,000 in a year. Right when we were needing to sell it. Our savings only allowed us to stay in the house for a little over 2 years… but when the market crashed, we could no longer sell it. And our huge plan of building and selling to have a paid off house in 7 years went crumbling. To keep our credit up we put our money into our mortgage but slowly had to start living off of credit cards for the rest until we finally sold it 2 years later. This was NOT part of the plan. In fact, it was quite opposite. BUT, it IS our situation. And it’s finally time to face it. For the past few years since we moved we’ve continued to live like we weren’t in debt. Spending where we wanted. Doing what we wanted. But that isn’t the case. We ARE in debt. And we need to make war with these credit cards. Ignoring it means postponing our dreams, and I am not willing to do that. Getting my fight on, and getting serious about paying off debt.. THAT is freeing! And THAT will help us be free to do what God is calling us to do.
SO… here’s what I am doing. And I would LOVE accountability in this! Will’s wife and my new sweet friend Nancy Ray shared the quote “Contentment is the key to financial freedom.” She has an amazing thing going on on her blog called the #contentmentchallenge where you stop purchasing things for 3 months. I am scared, but I am joining her in this adventure because I believe so much lies on the other side of this debt! I have more to share but I think I will have to write another post for it altogether. There is just SO much!
3. I have to take some things off my plate.
A few weeks ago I participated in Emily Ley’s webinar and one thing stuck with me SO much! “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” From that class, Moira Ink penned this quote and I just had to share it with you.
This quote resonated so deeply with me because I am a dreamer through and through. I love to build things. I LOVE to create. And I wholeheartedly believe that is what God created me to do. But I’m not super awesome at follow through. That’s a whole other post altogether, but I’m an Innovator, not a Cultivator. So I need to be very, VERY careful what I actually start, and think it all the way through to make sure I can actually carry it out. I currently have like 5 half started businesses because I love building so much. This quote reminds me… just because I CAN… doesn’t mean that I SHOULD. I need to ask myself.. can I really manage this new project? Can I give it my best? If so, is it worth it? Because giving my best doesn’t come cheap. It comes at the cost of giving my best to something else. Possibly something else way more important.
4.What I have REALLY been called to do… write, inspire, encourage… not respond to everything.
This is extreme… but hang in there… hopefully it will make sense in the end. Here are a few things I’m saying no to…
FB messages… I am no longer checking them and am feeling AWESOME about that. I changed my header on my profile to say that I am no longer checking them and you know what??? It’s WORKING! I haven’t had a message in days which is INSANE. I usually get
Email. This sounds incredibly unrealistic I know. But ya’ll. It. Was. Swallowing my soul. I would sit down on a given morning fresh with God downloads from my shower and I would get ready to write, and I would end up spending the ENTIRE DAY sorting, filing and responding to my inbox. Suddenly it was time to get the kids from school and I hadn’t done the one thing God put on my heart to do that day. Write what He shared with my heart. It makes me sick. Literally. I am sick to my stomach about all of the things He has told me to share over the years and I haven’t. I’ve been disobedient. I’ve been a mismanager of time. And that’s on me. Not Him. It makes me wonder if Paul would’ve finished the books of the Bible God told him to write if he had been flooded with emails and the pressure to respond to everyone. I kinda don’t think he would’ve. But that’s just my opinion. I remember having dinner with Jeremy Cowart and some friends a few years ago and he was talking about email, and how sometimes it takes him 6 months to respond, and sometimes he doesn’t at all. And he is okay with that. I sat there mind blown how this super successful photographer had basically said he was done with email (<<<read his post). It resonated so deeply with me, and I longed for that freedom. Just this week I read another blog from one of my favs Jessi Connolly and she talked about being a responder or a creator. But not both. She’s so right. These past few years I have been SO focused on responding to everyone, IG comments, FB tags, FB messages, texts, emails that I haven’t had the time to do the one thing I KNOW in my gut God has asked me to do. Write. Am I alone? Anyone else getting anxiety as I type those out? Makes me want to scream! So I am just saying no. I put a ( hopefully sweet and kind) auto responder on my email with this new boundary and unless it’s emergent or a something God prompts me to be involved in, I just simply won’t be responding. I don’t mean this in a hurtful way, and I’m sorry if it hurts anyone. If you know me, that is simply NOT my heart. But my heart IS to be present with the people IN my life, and not buried in my computer. I have a small feeling you might be able to relate. So here is my advance apology for not responding to every email. If you’re ever in my area, or I’m in yours, let’s connect! Real life stuff is my heart. And I would be overjoyed to connect with you in that way.
* I’m also not saying I’m completely unreachable. If you want to connect with me, please, reach out. But the fastest way to connect with me as weird as it sounds is through instagram. I check it a few times a day and try my hardest to respond to everything on there because it’s quick and easy. And doesn’t involve filing and sorting 🙂 Hope that makes sense.
*You may be asking.. uh.. you run a Conference.. and a national women’s ministry.. how is this possible. God has blessed me with an AMAZING team of women. For too long I was doing too much. Running myself ragged and it wasn’t God’s best for me. We have now hired on some of the most incredible women I’ve ever met to help me run Pursuit 31. And they are WAY better at getting people answers anyway. So I am simply letting go of having all of the control (which was super hard) and giving it back to God. Because it’s His anyway. And in that, these incredible leaders get to walk in the giftings God has given them! Win, WIN! So here’s a HUGE thank you to Wendy Cunningham & Kathleen Clipper who take on a huge weight with Conference & Small Group Coordination and I could make myself pass out from yelling my thanks to both of them from the rooftops. They mean the world to me. I literally think they saved my sanity. I also owe unending thanks to the 70+ Small Group Leaders and Moderators who make my heart soar. I should do an entire post just on how amazing they are!!!
5. New Schedule.
Yep. You heart that right. Remember when I said that I felt like I had lost a little of “Me” over the past few years? I’m changing that now. For the last 9 years I have worked SO so much. For the first 6 it was insane and caused me to nearly have a nervous breakdown. For the last 3 it has been a ton better. I have found the art of balancing this crazy life I call work at home mommying, and it’s been great. But what I have forgotten in all of this mix, was me. The me that loved painting, baking, decorating, and refabing things I found in thrift shops. That girl. The one who had time to have coffee with friends and go window shopping just for the heck of it. What happened to her? I really miss her. And I think it’s WAY past time to find her again. So.. here’s to new days. New schedules and NEW BOUNDARIES!
So here you have it folks…
Monday Work hours from 9-2 PST
Tuesday Cultivate friendships day… on these days I will NOT turn on my computer and instead I will have coffee with a friend, go antiquing, go to Mom’s group at our church, have a date day with Isaac if he’s home or anything else that involves hanging out with people.
Wednesday … Work hours 9-2 PST
Thursday… ME days… these are the days I will work on a personal project that I love. This usually involves painting or refurbishing something, but could involve anything that fills up my cup.
Friday …Work from 9-2 PST
Doesn’t that just sound AMAZING!?!?! It does to me! And I am SO excited about it!Tiffany Farley, Hannah Brencher & Carrie McQuaid
6. Stay true to my Core Values
It’s true. Defining our Core Values gives us Purpose. But it also helps you attract your ideal client, make important decisions and bring confidence to your every day choices. 3 years ago, in the midst of my breakdown, Isaac and I stepped back, re-evaluated and came up with a system. But not just a system that would come and go, a system built on our CORE. These value sets have become such a part of our unspoken language that I nearly forgot about the actual words. They are just a part of us now.
But during the MTH Conference I was reminded of the time that we sat down, wrote things out, and figured out our Core Values AND our Belief Statement. Looking back those statements have served as a compass and a road map for the last several years. I seriously CAN’T even imagine NOT having them now. All successful companies have Core Values and Belief Statements. So why shouldn’t we have them for our lives? Makes sense right?
Anyway, all of the sudden I remembered that a few years ago I taught a class at a Conference on this very thing and that I still had all of my notes. So I decided that I wanted to share that process with you, in hopes that it will help you create your own set of Core Values and your own Belief Statement, to help you pave the life of your dreams. So in a VERY random and scary turn of events, I am now hosting my first EVER Online Class. I am a little nervous but also extremely excited. I don’t know why I never thought about this before.
- I will be sharing on my failures and mistakes as a mama, wife, business women and ministry director, how I learned from them, and the tools I used to help get my life and my ventures on track.
- I will be talking about what a system like this can do for you, how we developed ours and tools for you to create yours as well.
- You will be invited into an exclusive Core Values Crew. This group is designed to continue the conversation. You cant write your Core Values in a day, the webinar is just the start. But we are here to help each other. I want this group to all help each other down the path of developing our Core Values and getting them written down, and printed, so that we can all have this valuable plumb line for our lives. I will be there helping as much as I can along with a few of my good friends who are also passionate about this work.
- All registrants will receive a One Year Intentional Home Membership to our monthly printable club. These printables were designed around my Core and made with the hopes that they will help you walk out your Core with intentionality as well.
*Non Instagram Photos by Robyn Van Dyke